In the treatment of ADD and ADHD, Adderall has been found effective but still suffers from some of the downsides of many stimulant treatments, including loss of appetite, irritability, disrupted sleep, psychosis and aggression. Many college students and professionals, crushed by a heavy workload, turn to use of the drug without a prescription or by feigning symptoms for a prescription. Indeed, Adderall does increase concentration and productivity when it comes to rote and tedious tasks. But, as with many stimulants, it does not improve or aide creative thinking and collaborative thinking. Many people find it useful for just getting through the day and out from under the pile of work they’re buried under. Others find Adderall useful as an appetite suppressant and an easy way to lose weight without doing the work of healthy diet and exercise. Much like the “Mother’s Little Helper” of the 1950s and 60s, Adderall has become a somewhat secret and yet socially accepted form of synthetic assistance in today’s busy modern world. Many also use the drug recreationally, while drinking or going out late, for extra alertness and attention.

Unfortunately, taking these little blue or orange pills for a little boost here and there is not the norm. Many people become dependent on Adderall’s benefits, and as with most drugs, increased consumption leads to tolerance, more consumption, and the inevitable drawbacks and downfalls. Those with prescriptions end up requesting more, leading to the Adderall shortage that we are seeing in the news today. Those without prescriptions often buy the drug from friends, on the internet, or on the street. Many of the benefits of Adderall become downsides when consumption increases. What at first was increased attention and alertness leads to irritability, aggression, lack of sleep, and sometimes drug induced psychosis. The pattern of mania surrounding Adderall dependence and deprivation mimics many other “upper drugs.” It’s not uncommon to see an Adderall addict upending their apartment or dorm room searching for one last little pill. As with most drugs, after their supposed benefits subside, the Adderall junkie is left only jonesing for the pill itself and nothing else.

One thing notable about Adderall’s increased consumption and abuse is how it mirrors our particular societal fixations of today. We live in a world that runs 24/7, demands more and more of us every day, and requires our constant attention. At the same time, so much information and the volume and speed at which the world moves and washes over us with information and stimulation actually leads to decreased concentration and an inability to focus. Adderall answers some of the problems we encounter in day to day life, it makes those who use it more productive (at least for awhile), more focused, better employees, and, superficially, thinner and more peppy. But what Adderall abuse points to is the demand our society makes on us to be superhuman, and since this is not possible, how the demand to be superhuman actually ends up harming us in the end.

Unfortunately, there are people who suffer from severe forms of ADD and ADHD, not just the mild attention and focus lacking in most people day in and day out. The use of medication like Adderall to treat these legitimate conditions is effective for some, yet the abuse of Adderall has made it more difficult for those who really need the medication to receive it. I would argue, that with a drug like Adderall, which is really just a designer form of mild speed and shares many of the negative side effects, no one really “needs” it. There are milder and non-stimulant forms of medication that have been developed for ADD and ADHD.

Often, clients will come to Milestones Ranch Malibu with a number of conditions, hence our strength as a dual diagnostic facility. A client might not only be suffering from alcohol or opiate dependence but might also be diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADD. It is a firm belief at Milestones that clients should be tapered off all medications that lead to physical dependence, including Adderall. This is not always a comfortable change for people to make. Some of these clients have been on stimulant medications for years and the idea that something they are “prescribed” for a “condition” is not acceptable in their recovery is befuddling. The truth is that even clients who have not abused their Adderall need to understand the potentially harmful side effects of the drug, in addition to its irritant effects, Adderall increases the heart rate and can lead to a weakened immune system. Furthermore, because the drug is prescribed many people do not disclose their abuse of the drug and cross medicate, with alcohol and other drugs. They cannot see the forest for the trees and potentially overlook the largely negative effects Adderall holds.

Increased Adderall abuse is gaining attention in the media and this is a good thing. For many years, no one really knew what Adderall was and further did not imagine it was a drug that would be abused. It is important to spread awareness of even prescription and designer drug abuse, because it can often be the most insidious and harmful. If we are to become healthier not only as individuals, whether in recovery or not, but also as a society, it’s time to gain awareness and cut the cord with all the little comforts we rely on to cushion our falls. There are no short cuts in life, and while Adderall might seem to be a convenient one at the time, this is largely an illusive charm.

When I first got sober, things weren’t very different: instead of my thoughts revolving around drinking, they started to revolve around NOT drinking. I spent all my time and energy on making it through the day without having to take a drink. It wasn’t easy – there were moments, days and weeks that I wanted nothing more than to drink until I couldn’t feel anymore. But I didn’t. I worked through the sometimes overwhelming cravings and desire to get drunk and, one day at a time, stayed sober. I got a sponsor, worked the steps and began understanding the spiritual principles of sobriety. Slowly, but surely, things in my life started to change. And as my life started to change, so did my thoughts. The longer I stayed sober, the less my mind was preoccupied with the thought of whether to drink or not to drink.

And to be honest, I was completely lost. For years, my entire life had been consumed by drinking, and in sobriety, not drinking. Now that there was more space in my head, I found that I had no idea what to do with myself. I was at a crossroads – now that sobriety was no longer the struggle it once was, what the heck was I supposed to do with my life?

I felt stagnant. I was so grateful to be sober, but I didn’t want that to be the only thing going on in my life. I had the experience of “So I’m sober – now what?”

As they say in the Big Book, “the answers will come if your own house is in order”. Now that I had my life back on track and had taken care of myself emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually, answers started to come. And my life became about so much more than drinking or not drinking.

Don’t get me wrong – sobriety is and always will be the most important thing in my life. What I mean is that when I’m doing the things that I need to do to stay sober, it gives me the opportunity to explore other facets of life that were previously unimaginable to me. Getting sober was the stepping stone to experiences that I never thought I would have; experiences I didn’t even know I WANTED to have. In sobriety, I’ve climbed a mountain. I’ve gone surfing. I’ve completed a half-marathon and am training for a full. I have jumped through fire (literally). I have faced more fears and regrets than I can count. I have made peace with people I have harmed and who have harmed me. I have reconnected with old friends and made new ones. I have figured out what I want to do with my life and am returning to school to make that dream a reality.

I couldn’t have done any of these things if I didn’t get sober. And I don’t just mean in the sense that I couldn’t do any of these things if I was still drinking (which is also true). Getting sober taught me how to be accountable, how to show up for my life and for other people, how to face the unfaceable and deal with the undealable. By applying the principles of sobriety to the rest of my life, I have answered my question of “So I’m sober – now what?” And the answer is everything.

“Country Strong” is a fabulous portrayal of how the disease of addiction causes grief and struggles for not only the addicted but also everyone around them. As a major pop country star, the demands of her career become too overwhelming and she is admitted into a rehab program. When her manager and husband remove her from the program a month early due to pressure to resume her career, she is quickly confronted with temptation abound. Her regrets and self-loathing are evident as she fights to remain sober. The pain her behavior causes to loved ones and fans cause the viewer to feel sympathy and frustration for her plight. It is an honest and truthful perspective on how the disease of addiction causes behavior that is not evidence of the person who is fighting it. A loving, motherly and caring person by nature, she undermines all of her goals and aspirations while tearing those around her to pieces.

Despite fame, money, and adoration she struggles to find love and meaning in her life. A marriage on the rocks and an intense desire to be a mother create a multifaceted main character that is easy to like. Even through tragic mistakes she endears herself to the viewer with glimpses of a loving soul. Her deep seeded regrets about a pregnancy lost surface as a theme and a regret that is too much to overcome. The fragility she conveys speaks to anyone who can sympathize with the grip an addiction can have on someone. Addicts all too often are stigmatized because of their behavior. Gweneth Paltrow does a fabulous job of illustrating how an addict is often hurt the most by their own behavior. The best intentions cannot mute the intense pain that regret and self-loathing induce. Without fully understanding and accepting her addiction and being removed from treatment early, she is left vulnerable to the triggers that are abound while on tour.

“Country Strong” is a sad movie that can help to illustrate the duality that an addict often struggles with. Despite desires for meaningful connections and love, the addiction can cause one to unintentionally sabotage their dreams. This movie is a great illustration of how an addict can be overcome with cravings and regret, causing them to throw progress aside to momentarily alleviate the pain they have both caused and endured. Those familiar with the hardships of alcoholism will relate to this movie. Those who are not will learn about the struggles of addiction. I recommend this movie to everyone. Understanding addiction and the driving forces behind it is a universal lesson – having a greater level of knowledge and sympathy can help us all.

The argument that addiction is a matter of choice seems a logical one. Addicts make the choice to use drugs whereas those who suffer from a disease simply are the victim of unfortunate circumstances. Every individual has the freedom of will and thus can choose not to use drugs. Behavior dictates the predicament that addicts are in. Doctors have struggled to classify addiction as anything other than a behavioral choice. This is in large part because of what modern science uses as the disease model. The disease model defines what a disease is and what can then be classified as a disease. Science defines a disease as an Organ that has a Defect which causes Symptoms. Diabetes, by this model, is a disease because the pancreas has a defect (not creating insulin) which causes blindness, infections, and other symptoms. This model of defining a disease revolutionized medicine and caused doctors to treat the defect rather than the symptom. Rather than treating the symptoms of someone with diabetes, modern medicine treats the defect (lack of insulin production). This change in treatment had a profound impact on the success of modern medicine. If addiction can be defined as a disease than the same model can be applied to the treatment of addiction which will have an equally profound impact.

The recent advances in technology and science have allowed doctors greater understanding of the processes of the mind. New studies are continually being performed on the human brain and new evidence supporting treatment of addiction as a disease follows. The human brain is a highly evolved machine that is compartmentalized into many different areas. Scientists are beginning to understand the different functions of each area of the mind. Whereas addiction was once seen as defect within the frontal lobe which controls choices and morality, it is now accepted that the problem goes much deeper than that. The mid-brain, which controls instincts and drives, is now understood to play a huge role in addiction. The brain is a complex structure that has evolved over thousands of years to weave pleasurable and satisfying moments together to ensure survival. The pleasure one gets from fatty and sweet foods are caused by the intrinsic need for food to survive. The mid-brain produces dopamine as a reward to create memories of a satisfying experience, such as eating a sweet food. Drugs unnaturally create a surge in dopamine which convinces the brain that this action is exceedingly valuable to its survival. Continual use causes the brain to reconfigure its homeostasis (the baseline of normal dopamine), thus causing a need for greater stimulation which only comes in artificial ways (drugs). The brain creates memories of how these dopamine levels were attained and causes an individual to seek out a recreation of the events that led to increased dopamine levels (drug use). All of these functions of the brain can cause an inability to register normal levels of pleasure. This is called Anhedonia.

These greater understandings of the brain have allowed a more profound understanding of how addiction affects a person. The choices that an addict makes cannot be seen as a conscious decision. Through continual use of a drug, the brain adapts, causing the user to seek out increased dopamine levels. This results in cravings that an addict suffers from. These cravings are unnatural and cause a great deal of suffering. These cravings have caused scientists and doctors to see addiction as a disease because it is possible to fit into the “disease mold”. The brain of an addict has a defect in how it perceives pleasure which creates uncontrollable symptoms seen as cravings.   Addiction can now be defined as;

“Stress induced defect acting on a genetic vulnerability in the reward/learning areas of the midbrain and the emotion/choice area of the frontal cortex”.

The ramifications of redefining addiction as a disease and not a matter of choice are enormous. When looking at an addict as a patient who is suffering from symptoms of a disease it eliminates the moral judgment that so often stigmatizes addicts. This new perspective should not only reshape how society treats addicts but also how they are treated for this disease. Addicts should not be incarcerated like criminals. They should be treated for a debilitating disease. Recovery is attainable. Just as the brain adapted to the drugs it has the power to adapt to their absence. The ability to enjoy normal levels of dopamine will eventually be reestablished. As cancer in remission is something that should be continually monitored, so is addiction.

There are many people that would benefit from seeing this film. Addicts and their loved ones can learn that the behaviors of an addict are not caused by free will and not meant to hurt the ones they love. These behaviors (as painful as they might be) are a symptom of a disease and must be seen as such. Through understanding that the addicted are suffering as much as anyone it is easier to have a higher level of sympathy and compassion for their struggle. I would highly recommend this film to anyone who has dealt with addiction in any way. We, as a society, have an obligation to help these individuals who suffer from addiction.

To understand where your anger comes from, you must first understand that all people have certain needs and insecurities that are innate to humanity. He focuses on the misdirection and misuse of the energy that exists within us all. The analogy he uses to explain this is a fire hose where energy replaces the water. He further explains that when anger causes a kink in this stream of natural energy the tension in the hose will grow. This tension results in the search for ways to reduce the flow of energy and thus develops addictive ways to do so. These can be anything from smoking cigarettes, over eating and unhealthy eating, to intense addictions to both illegal and legal drugs. All of these things, he explains, reduce the energy flow. As children we are full of energy. The channel (fire hose) of energy is clear and streaming. This unimpeded flow of energy is evident in a transparent view of a child’s emotions. Temper tantrums, crying, and laughter of a child are illustrations of their emotions. As we grow older we find ways to impede this energy flow whether intentionally or not; as we age we learn to constrain the extremes of our emotions. Often times this leaves many of our emotions unexplored and not dealt with in a healthy fashion.  Dr. Carter uses many real life examples of how people do this to illustrate how it is a problem and how it results in anger. Anger is a result of our insecurities and the improper use of our emotions. He points out that people often do not assert what their emotional needs are for many different reasons.

In the second section, Dr. Carter explores in greater detail why people get trapped in anger. Through not having a healthy way to explain our emotional needs and our insecurities we tend to create a certain illusion of control. In life there is very little that we can actually control. Emotional responses are even outside of our control. Whether or not we realize it we are emotionally dependent on outside influences in our lives. We are continuously feeding off of the environment and taking cues as to be calm or tense. The concept of dependency can conjure a sense of weakness but this dependence is something innate within everyone. We all have a need for love and acceptance and with these needs come the necessity of outside influences. These outside influences, when not acting exactly as we desire or think they should, can create situations that make us angry. “If only I got some respect”, and other terms like this are evident of the link between dependency and anger. The idea of self-worth is something that is engrained humanity. Throughout history in every culture and every religion this idea is explored. This creates a certain degree of insecurity within us all. Finding a way to be secure in your own self-worth is vital to relinquishing yourself of anger. Along with becoming comfortable with your own self-worth it will make it possible to see the value in others as well. Being emotionally independent is not possible but finding stability in the value of yourself is. Dr. Carter points out that while self-worth and pride can be useful, they can also create problems of being “held captive by self-absorption”. He outlines methods to incorporate humility and pride together while remaining assertive about your emotional needs. An example he uses to illustrate these ideals is in pointing out myths that perpetuate anger: Myth: I need people to be fair-minded so I won’t have problems with anger. Truth: I can manage my anger well despite others flaws. He focuses on the importance of being assertive about emotional needs while maintaining a calm demeanor.

 In the third section Dr. Carter delineates where those who are able to overcome anger differ from those who are trapped within its grasp. He explains that through the process of addressing our anger we are forced to investigate our emotional needs as well our perspective on the world that surrounds us. This introspection causes a person to begin to examine their flaws. This understanding of your own flaws allows you to see the world as it is - full of people who are flawed as well. He explains that this deep understanding of yourself and of people in general will make you more aware of what it means to be human. A greater degree of respect, sympathy, admiration and patience will ensue. You will no longer see yourself as a victim of the world around you, but more as more of a participant. He maintains the importance of remaining assertive and firm when it comes to your emotional needs. Through the process of investigating the root of your anger he highlights that your perspective will turn from pessimistic to optimistic. This change in perspective is a result of a greater understanding of yourself. With this new found optimism you will be able to be more encouraging and kind to those around you who have not had the same illuminations of emotional needs. This will allow you to be freed from being alienated on an island of anger and result in a greater sense of worth and love.

I highly recommend this book to everyone, regardless of whether they consider themselves to have anger issues. We can all take something from the journey that Dr. Carter leads you on. With finding a greater understanding of yourself and your emotional needs you will also find understanding and sympathy for others. We all like to be around people that are encouraging and understanding. In becoming more of these things it is very evident to me that the circle of loved ones in your life will grow. New friends will emerge from this positive energy that you embrace. Relationships will become more meaningful as you begin to honestly express your emotional needs without anger. You will be more receptive to hearing the emotional needs of others. We all have a tendency to get caught up in ourselves and often can feel like the victim of a cruel world. This can lead to devastating reactions and habits that can form very unhealthy addictions. In learning to cope with ourselves we will be better prepared to live without these habits, addictions and vices. Dr. Carter does not only lead you on a path to escape anger; He leads you on a path to a more rewarding life.

Chaney describes compulsions and addictions as a prison cell that is constructed by the process of one’s mind. To escape these compulsions it is necessary to replace them with more positive thoughts that will in turn allow a spiritually fulfilling life. He explains how his addiction caused him to despise himself and feel a great deal of regret for his compulsions. This self-loathing, he points out, is one reason to quit. Understanding that a person’s compulsions and addictions affect those around them is also a key to his ideas about how to quit. One must make a concious choice to live and he compounds that every choice in life contributes to one’s living or dying. “Quitting sets you free”, he says; free to live a more fulfilling life. He expands on this theory in saying that quality merchandise is expensive and the price is choice. His outlook on the purpose of life and why we have all come to be in this world is in deciphering, through all levels of thought, a manner in which one can live a spiritually guided life. Through letting one’s spirit guide them, they will garner a greater measure of fulfillment and happiness.

Emotional and mental constructs of the mind can often be obstacles that must be overcome for a spiritual existence to come to be. He illustrates this, and explains the difference in approach, by saying that when the flow of energy is from the spiritual self to the emotional levels no compulsions or addictions are possible. Compulsions and addictions are a product of the energy flow moving in the opposite direction; from the emotional and physical level through to the spiritual level. His solution to eliminating compulsions is to replace these thoughts and activities with more rewarding ones. “The only way to get one thing out of my mind is to replace it with something else”, he continues. He offers different activities and exercises to help facilitate the process of eliminating the compulsive behaviors and spawn more healthy ones.

This book can offer a great deal of help to a recovering addict who is in the later stages of recovery. I do not believe that Chaney gives enough attention to the fact that addiction is a disease and that often the choices that addicts make, as wrong as they may be, are not an illustration of that person as much as they are symptoms of the disease. The physical changes in the brain are visible evidence that these addictions are much more than just a matter of choice. I can see this book being used as a manual that can help with treatment but not as a guide to treatment. Chaney offers many sound ideas as to the process of the brain and how everyone can use them more to achieve a spiritually fulfilling life. Replacing the negative ideas and compulsions will in fact manifest into a better existence. In my opinion, the assistance of a clinician and a medical doctor are often necessary to initiate the process of quitting. This book can provide a valuable resource in the process of recovery by helping to restructure the direction and health of thoughts. I recommend it as a supplementary read during the treatment process or for addictions and compulsions that have not progressed to the point where physical changes have occurred in the brain.

We meet Kelly when she’s pulled out of rehab early by her husband and manager James (Tim McGraw). While in rehab (and a completely unethical situation, by the way), Kelly’s met a young and talented singer-songwriter named Beau. Kelly agrees to continue the tour if Beau can be the opening act for her, while James has the idea for a new up-and-coming beauty queen and singer, Chiles Stanton, to open the tour. Much of the film is a battle of wills between Kelly and her husband over who knows best, who hurt who, and who, if either, still loves the other. But their quibbles miss the point of individual suffering that has to be repaired and nurtured, particularly Kelly’s. It is not so much her decision to continue touring, and leaving behind her wellness, as her giving in to the will of her husband and manager.

There’s an underlying tension between Kelly and her husband since her drunken and disorderly behavior got her into rehab and compromised both of their careers and their relationship. But there’s also the tension of business and professional life pushing aside wellness and recovery. The two cannot necessarily coexist peacefully. The demands of business that form the backbone of a famed talent’s career are often at odds with the slow and delicate work of rebuilding a broken spirit and psyche. While it can seem tempting to “get back to work” and to “real life” while in rehab, this is often a way of avoiding the real work of recovery, which is often less gratifying and more painful.

An emblematic scene in the film is when, leaving rehab, Kelly has to relinquish a baby bird she’s helped save and nurture to her husband because she will not have time to take care of it while on tour. The bird, in its little cigar box of leaves and bedding, is an attempt by Kelly to take care of herself. By putting her recovery aside, into the hands of her husband’s business acumen, they both make an unhealthy and tragic decision. The baby bird represents both the fragility of Kelly and her strength. Her husband often says to her that she used to be tough as nails and he doesn’t know what changed. She begs him to remember her as she used to be. They both mourn the changes in themselves and each other that prevent their relationship from being the same as they once were.

Kelly at one point says, “I don’t think that fame and love can live in the same place” and the struggle of the relationships in the film is over this conflict—Kelly’s stardom and her husband’s management of her career and of the budding stars Beau and Chiles on the tour. James does not know how to manage Kelly. Instead he makes others responsible for the management of her weaknesses. Taken out of her rehabilitation process and thrust onto the stage and in the limelight again, Kelly’s old habits reemerge—infidelity, erratic behavior, and relapse with alcohol. James, confused by her old demons haunting her, asks how this could happen and Beau retorts, “Don’t take someone out of rehab before they’re ready!” The solution seems easy enough, but James is not willing to hear the truth of it.

Despite all of Kelly’s destructive and volatile behavior on tour she does possess a resilient kind of strength and passion of character that confounds others, particularly in her powerful final performance. Kelly knows she’s no longer capable of being that starlet on the stage, yet she has lessons to impart to everyone around her, once through her music, and finally in her decision to leave it all behind. The tragedy of Country
Strong is an inflexibility between stage life and personal life, between a husband and a wife, to endure the changes life brings to them both and perhaps the changing idea of what it means to be strong. If people cannot evolve and adapt to life’s changes together, it hinders interpersonal growth with sometimes devastating consequences.

Likewise, the documentary essay Pleasure Unwoven manages to make difficult and complex information palatable and even reassuring when faced with the question “Is addiction a disease?” The premise of the film follows physician Kevin McCauley through the literal terrain of the question: Is addiction a disease? McCauley himself is in recovery and his curiosity about the question stems both from his personal interest and experience and also the scientific inquiry of a physician and scientist.

As a medical doctor, McCauley has always found the idea that addiction is a disease somewhat dubious. Unlike diabetes, or cancer, say, addiction seems less of a disease and more of a choice. After all, no one forces an addict to take up that bottle, or that syringe, or do that line of cocaine. One example that he poses as an extreme argument against the idea of addiction as a disease is: imagine you place a drink in front of an alcoholic and offer it to him, then you tell him if he drinks it you will blow his brains out with a gun. Most likely, the alcoholic will not take that drink. This argument posits that when the stakes are high enough, the addict capitulates to abstainment.

What McCauley presents throughout Pleasure Unwoven is that the above argument is far too simplistic. In order to understand how an addict works, you have to understand how the mind works. So he takes us on a literal and metaphorical journey throughout the landscape of the mind, explaining, by climbing to the heights and depths of rock formations in rural Utah, why the mind’s complex architecture actually gives strength to the argument that addiction is a disease.

Addiction, McCauley explains, is often thought of as a moral failing. Since it is not a disease like cancer or diabetes, for years those who have tried to rehabilitate addicts think of the disease without a physical or mental component but rather a weakness of morals. This is a dangerous way to think about addiction, and whether you think addiction is a disease or not, McCauley’s valid explanation of the brain mechanisms that enable addiction are illuminating.

Within the human brain there is the frontal cortex, the top of the mountain per se, which governs our rationality including morality, judgment, personality, and what we choose to give emotion to. Thinking of drug addiction as a moral failing is flawed first and foremost because drug addiction doesn’t take place in the frontal cortex, where morals are formed, but rather in the more primitive mid-brain, which governs what we do in the next five minutes (eating, defending ourselves, sex, and pleasure). In addiction, the frontal cortex’s control over the midbrain fails. Drugs hijack the survival mechanisms in the midbrain, placing drugs at the top of the list in importance, before eating, self-defense, or reproduction. Addiction then becomes a disease of choice and addiction is a defect in the brain’s ability to perceive, process and act upon pleasurable experiences. The natural dopamine release that comes from pleasurable experiences (sleep, food, sex) is manipulated, abused, and artificially increased by drug abuse.  In addiction, something goes wrong at every level of processing in the midbrain, and this affects the rational frontal cortex. So the immorality that is stamped as judgment on many addicts is actually a description of some of their behaviors and not the actual mechanism of addiction in the brain, which is a real and quite scary chemical malfunction. Addiction is not only a disease of choice but, in McCauley’s words, pleasure unwoven. Eventually, the drug addict needs more and more of his substance to achieve the same effect and the addict’s brain arrives at a strange state of depression called anhedonia, where he or she is unable to derive pleasure even from normal activities in life.

While some might eschew the chemical and genetic foundations of substance abuse, citing environmental factors as crucial to the formation of an addict, this is certainly true but rarely enough to explain an addict’s genesis. Genes, environment and stress contribute to full blown addiction. However, as McCauley points out, and Milestones firmly believes, recovery is more powerful than any of these other factors. The brain can heal, the body can heal, and the addict can learn to make healthy choices in life again. Pleasure can again become healthy and well-rounded, and the addict can weave together the broken bits of their life into a cogent and stable whole. There are many different paths to recovery, and watching a film like this can give solid, scientific hope for those who feel that they are a lost cause.

For more about dopamine and addiction read our blog post on Dr. Nora Volkow.

The story is of a family of Irish immigrants who have snuck into the New York neighborhood “Hell’s Kitchen” from Canada in search of a better life.  Upon taking up residence, the two young daughters charm and befriend the neighborhood – among them a Kenyan artist/photographer whose initial threatening postures prove to be the façade of an angel. And in the end, one realizes it is a movie of angels.

Though the plot moves through space, the story proves to be about interior life.  The father, Johnny, is seeking employment as an actor.  But he is repeatedly turned down. One director bluntly tells him that he’s not moved by his audition and that he doesn’t feel anything coming from Johnny.  The reason the director doesn’t feel anything is Johnny doesn’t feel anything. The family has brought with them a ghost. Another child, Frankie, has died at age 2 from a brain tumor.  Johnny has been numbed by the experience.  He has not grieved the loss of Frankie. 

Grief is not a pleasant experience.  Grief is a Grimm’s Brother’s tale in a society with a Disney perspective. It is not a popular process. When somebody dies, it leaves a hole in the psyche.  It can be shattering. Maybe it ought to be shattering. Why not have it done with, rather than have it linger – sometimes for decades. The state of bereavement is a necessary passage to the healing of the rift.  The finality of ending must be accepted before one can move on.   Grief can be seen as a gift. It is the instrument of regeneration — the harbinger of dawn during the Dark Night of the Soul.  It is not a journey to be taken alone. Once Johnnie allows his grief within the embrace of his family, he is able to emotionally rejoin his family, and life at large.

In America obviates sentimentality while addressing a difficult topic.  It is well rendered cinema that disarms defenses and reveals the angel in us all.

The story is almost too good to be true, at first: a handsome couple and their beautiful daughters livein idyllic San Francisco. The husband and wife are utterly in love. The core of this couple’s love sustains the film and gives it heart. However, there is trouble in paradise manifested by Alice’s increasing consumption of alcohol and her erratic behavior. Her path follows that of many addicts: those around her fail to see the signs or encourage her, she hides her behavior, the addiction escalates and her shame and guilt lead to an apotheosis of alcohol soaked misbehavior. She goes to rehab, a completely new experience within her new admission of alcoholism, and their picture perfect life crumbles and has to be rehabilitated, both in the addict Alice’s patterns and those around her. (See also our blog post on the film Rachel Getting Married for more about families and their experience with healing along with addicts.)

At the root of the dysfunction in this film is a word that crops up regularly in therapeutic circles: codependency. The term is a bit misleading, but codependency is defined as “unhealthy love and a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking roles in relationships.” At the root of groups such as Codependents Anonymous, the only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy relationships. Unhealthy relationships with others would then be a better way to describe codependency. In the context of When A Man Loves A Woman, codependency is manifested between the Man and the Woman, the husband and wife, the mother and father. Alice is smothered and enabled, evenin her alcoholic behavior, by her ever-doting husband Michael. While Michael has only the best intentions, we see over the course of the film and Alice’s path to recovery that such love can have its drawbacks. Specifically, Michael’s caretaking role prevents Alice from developing as a person and a mother because he is constantly there to pick up the pieces or assert his own voice to make everything OK for her. Their relationship shows how too much love, in unhealthy capacities, can be toxic. Though this seems contradictory (what could be wrong with too much love?), this kind of relationship is often found between addicts and those they love. The concept of cutting the destructive cord, emotionally and behaviorally, is at the core of this film’s trajectory.

In one example, after leaving rehab, Alice tries to resolve a conflict between her daughters and Michael immediately takes over, deeming Alice too fragile to handle such stress. In reality, Alice needs to assert her parental control in the situation and not constantly be protected by Michael’s sometimes overbearing love. Without the bottle to resort to, Alice sees that this is her responsibility and she also sees how her husband’s ‘help’ is actually stifling. At the same time, and the reason this film has been called “An Unforgettable Celebration of the Human Spirit,” Michael does not automatically become the ‘bad guy’ in his wife’s recovery because of his codependent nature. We see the terrifying truth of someone you love admitting to their fragility and weakness, as Michael must bear witness to day in and day out once his wife returns from treatment. At one point she tries to impress the fact that everything is not OK since she’s out of rehab. “Ask me how much I want a drink right now?” she says, and yet she does not drink.

Instead this couple goes the course of the tough, nitty-gritty emotional work that accompanies most successful rehabilitation. Their love and anger towards each other ascends like a scale in a great symphony and then the denouement is increased mutual understanding, and the plain truth about what it means to love another human being. In the final scene, Michael decides to go to hear his wife speak at an AA meeting even though he feels these groups are usually just a bunch of people whining too each other. His wife shares an incredible testament to her weaknesses and also her strength:

“It’s horrifying how much you can hate yourself for being low and weak and he couldn’t save me from that. So I turned it on him; I tried to empty it onto him. But there was always more, you know. When he tried to help I told him that he made me feel small and worthless. But nobody makes us feel that, we do that for ourselves. And I don’t know if I’m going to get a second chance but I have
to believe that I deserve one. Because we all do.”

Instead of dismissing the group that’s formed the backbone of his wife’s recovery, Michael shares his own truth about her to the anonymous group, no one knowing they are finally talking both to and about each other:

“My wife is an alcoholic. Best person I ever met. She has 600 different smiles. They can light up your life. They can make you laugh out loud, just like that. They can even make you cry, just like that. That’s just with her smiles. You’d have to see her with her kids. You’d have to see how they look at her, when she’s not looking. To think of all the things she lives through, and I couldn’t help her.”

I could quote more from the film, but I would just encourage those who haven’t seen it to do so. When A Man Loves A Woman is a love song about two people and about life and its bumps and hiccups. It’s not just a great film but it’s a great film about addiction and recovery.